It’s funny how people are willing to reach conclusions without getting all the facts. People do this with the Bible all the time. But there’s one place that results in a misconception about what it means to be a Christian that I just feel compelled to correct. I know there are many people who see Christians as doormats, trying to get along at any cost. And, while it’s true there are some who fit this mold, this is not because the Bible teaches this behavior.
As most people know, the Old Testament teaches, “eye for eye, tooth for tooth, . . .” (Exodus 21:24), but in the New Testament we read the words of Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount where He says, “whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.” (Matthew 5:39) And, from this simple passage, many people, including many Christians think Jesus is saying that when we are assaulted we are to allow our attacker to strike us again on our other cheek. In other words, once wasn’t enough, hit me again.
But, let’s put this teaching in context. This is a slap on the right cheek so it would have to be a backhanded slap from a right-handed person. This action is intended as an insult to the person being slapped. Definitely back in the time of the message, but even today, rare as it is, a backhand to the face is an insult.
Now when most people read this passage they think of only two possible responses: strike back or back down. But in reality there are three responses. First, and unfortunately the most obvious response is that a person could retaliate escalating the encounter to the level of a fight. Second, and sometimes the easiest and least painful response would be to present the same cheek back to the person saying, I accept your insult and concede. In effect telling the person who delivered the insult, you have made your point without a fight.
But the third response, the one most people miss, is to turn the other cheek. Now, because the backhanded slap is rarely used to insult someone today, this third response is unfamiliar to most people. But, the meaning was clear in Jesus’ day and the effect is the same today. This response said to the person delivering the slap that while you have attempted to insult me, I do not acknowledge your insult and I will not allow your action to change my feelings for you. I will not show you my reddened check, but instead will show you my cheek that is unchanged to represent that our relationship is unchanged. In other words, I am indifferent to your behavior and yet, I forgive you. And henceforth, I will treat you as though it never happened.
No escalation. No defeat. Victory without words and virtually without action. And, let me be clear: Both parties know who won and who lost the encounter. And yet, the relationship survives. Simple and conclusive. But clearly, no doormat.
Thom Fishow
May 9, 2010
Hi, Thom,
As you see I did read your blog and I thought it was very good. I am happy that you will be publishing your column for all the area to see. I will pray that it reaches all the unsaved that God has prepared to hear it. Charli